What do you expect from your pastor?

What do you expect from your pastor? (I want some real feedback on this, be honest)

I expect my pastor to...

- believe that salvation is achieved ONLY through Jesus death and resurrection
- preach the Word of God (not his opinion , not good stories)
- have the utmost integrity in his personal life that coincides with Scripture
- be a male (controversial I know)
- know me by my first name
- have opportunities available to get "plugged in"
- never give up on me or others
- delegate when possible because after all he can't do it all
- have his family first because they need him
- be community minded
- to make mistakes

I am sure I have more, but I just can't think of any at the moment. I'll admit this wasn't always my list. I actually used to have just one thing on the list. It was this...perfection. Yes I know and knew that no one is perfect, but I think if you were honest with yourself you probably thought that at one point or another. What a way to set someone up for failure, and ourselves up to be hurt or "burned by the church," huh?

This has been something I haven't really been able to get off my mind lately. I think most likely because of the last thing I mentioned, being "burned by the church." I mean what does that really mean anyway? For me it was someone didn't meet my expectations however ridiculous that may or may not have been, I felt disappointed therefore angry and unwilling to forgive so I had to move on. Pretty sucky thoughts to have. My after thought was then this...do I have the same expectations of my pastor as I do myself and if not why? That will give you something to chew on. Here's what I think I should expect out of myself in context of "church."

I expect myself to....

- believe that salvation is achieved ONLY through Jesus death and resurrection
- get my butt to church so I can hear the Word of God preached, and tell others about Him
- have the utmost integrity in my personal life that coincides with Scripture
- be a male (I can't really change that, so...yeah)
- know my pastor by first name by going to introduce myself
- get plugged in a small group, worship team, usher, greeter, something
- never give up on my pastor or others
- delegate when possible because after all I can't do it all either
- have my family first because they need me
- be community minded
- make mistakes
- forgive

Advent Conspiracy

Yesterday was the beginning of the Advent Season. Advent simply means coming. Advent is a four week season which begins on the Sunday closest to November 30, which is the Feast of St. Andrew on the Roman Catholic calendar, and ends on Christmas day.

As Christians we celebrate Advent for two meanings. 1. To remember and celebrate the first coming of Jesus Christ as a Babe both fully man and fully God who would later be sacrificed on a cross for our sins that whoever would believe in Him will have everlasting life. 2. We celebrate Advent in anticipation for the second coming of Christ in which time all of the prophecies and promise of Christ will be fulfilled. Satan will be bound and dethroned as the current ruler of the earth, and Christ will reign as King of Kings and Lords of Lords.

So what?

Christmas has become further and further away from being about the above and closer and closer to greed and consumerism. Some of us have gotten to the point where we would comprimise our beliefs, and/or kill or steal material things in order to "make someones Christmas"(even if it is our own). Take the shootings at the Toy's R Us, or the Wal-Mart employee trampled to death in New York this past weekend.

Have you ever found it weird that you were receiving gifts for it being Jesus' Birthday?
Have you ever found it odd that you were giving gifts to people in celebration of Jesus Birthday? What are you giving to Jesus?

When I think about what to buy someone as a gift I often try to think about what that person loves. Based on the answer to that question I do my best to get them that thing, or at least something involving it. I wouldn't get them something I knew they hated, who would?
So I ask myself...

"What does Jesus love?" People.
"What are some things that Jesus hates?" Well I am pretty sure he isn't fond of consumerism and greed.

I have heard about the Advent Conspiracy for a couple of years now. Check out this video. I think this would be the perfect gift.

Food For Thought

Most of us have heard the saying, "Don't put off tomorrow what you can do today." Cliche I know but true. Sometimes we are so busy going, going, going that we put things off for later (until the kids leave the house, until I get a new job, until I have ______) and before we know it later has come and gone. The true reality of death is something that I don't think we grasp all that well. In fact it wasn't until I was hit smack in the face with it that I really gave it any thought at all.

What about the "important" things that need to get done. Have you ever thought to yourself on of the questions listed below?

I really need/want to get healthy by _________.
I really need/want to get back to school.
I really need/want to get involved with my church.
I really need/want to grow deeper in my relationship with God by _________.
I really need/want to forgive _________.
I really need/want to be a better parent/sibling/child/friend/spouse.

Perhaps after the thought enters your mind it is finished with on of the following statement.

But I just don't have time to do it now.
I would have to rearrange my whole schedule.
I am just not in that stage of life yet where I really have time to focus on it.
They probably don't even remember.
I am only __ years old how bad could my health be, it's reversible.
I am __ years old I can't do it now, it's too late.

If someone were to tell you tomorrow that you exactly how much time you had left what would be your regrets? What would be the broken things in your life that you would fix? Would you be able to "find the time?" What would be the the things you said you would get to later that you would do now? Remember tomorrow's not guaranteed.

I HATE Black Friday

The biggest shopping day of the year is today-black Friday. I REFUSE to go out on Black Friday. I used to work retail, so I can have a true appreciation for the employee's of various retail companies that have to work. It is the worst day of the year to go to work for these people. It is just flat out dangerous, even deadly to go to work.

Today is of no exception. The following story makes me angry, disgusted, embarrassed, and nauseated all at the same time. Please read this story here.

Anybody who knows me well knows that I already have serious issues with Wal-Mart and I do my best to avoid it (which is a whole other topic for another time). But really, what has our society come too that we are willing to trample a person to the point of DEATH just to get a good deal on some stupid gift that no one will remember this time next year?! Really, do you remember what you got for Christmas last year, what about the years before that?

I cannot help but feel absolutely outraged for this man and his family. So many questions run through my mind......

Did someone try to help him?
Are there going to be criminal charges?
If I were you I would try ever person that ran over him for murder.

And to the people running him over...

What were you thinking?
Why didn't you stop?
Is your own life worth more than whatever it is you were attempting to purchase today?
How much do you value his life as?
Followed by a how dare you actually complain that Wal-Mart closed the store because you just killed someone?!?!?!?!?! (Good for you Wal-Mart, not likely I will ever say that again)


Finally to us...

What is your life worth to you?
Do you value others lives as much as you value your own?
Where is your treasure at this Christmas season?
However you answered that last question is where your heart is also.

Pet Peeve #1

So here it is Pet Peeve #1 (where did we get that term anyway) Oh and try to read the whole blog before you start sending me hate mail, hear me out. And please leave some comments about what you think.

Pet Peeve #1 - When asking someone whether or not they are a Christian (either personally, online in an info section like on Facebook/MySpace, or otherwise) there is something else besides a yes I am a Christian or no I am not a Christian response. Please allow me to explain.....

Please just take a look at your Facebook or MySpace accounts and see what kinds of responses your friends have that to the question of Religion. Here are a few that are on my friends list. "Christian, Christian-Other, Christian-Catholic, I heart Jesus, Love God and do what you want, He has my heart and I want him to keep it, Following Jesus, Passionate about Jesus, I love Jesus and I love people." There are many many many more. Leave a comment and tell me what you see on your friends or your own profile.

Have you noticed that one of the "trendy" things about being a Christian today is saying that your not? Soon were are going to wake up one day and there will be no more Christians. Really people, I mean really. Enough is enough. What is so wrong with saying your a Christian these days. GET OVER IT!!!! The reality is that there is, and probably always will be a certain stigma or thought process that goes over ones mind when you tell others that your a Christian. Websters defines a Christian as "one who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ" (and I would add), who has accepted and professes that only through the blood of Christ on a cross can one achieve salvation (John 14:6). What's your definition? Does our definition really matter anyway? I would say no because Scripture has the ultimate authority and seems to be pretty clear to me about who a Christian is. (Oh and by the way Catholics are Christians, just a different denomination. Just thought I throw that in there, I hear it a lot) Anyways...I mean for the love why are we sugar coating it 4,583,290,345,897 different ways just to say the same thing? Are we embarrassed, are we afraid of what others may think, or do we not want to be labeled like the "other" Christians that everyone says they're not. Which by the way where the heck are these mystery Christians that everyone is trying to avoid being like? I will let you in on a little secret these mystery Christians are you and me!

When I come in contact with non-Christians they're number one reason or issue they have with Christians and the Church is that they are hypocritical. I get that, and you know what else they are right. Every single one of us are a hypocrite, Christian or not. Webster's defines hypocrite as the following 1. a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion 2. a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. Have you ever done this? I have, and I am willing to bet you have too. I have and will mess up. I will "act in contradiction" to what my beliefs are as a Christian. I am human, I will mess up.

But thankfully being a Christian is not really about me. It is about what Christ did on behalf of me and everyone else for that matter. You see if it were just about me and my actions then what Christ did on the cross would be of no matter. Because then the Truth would change based on my belief or disbelief. The Truth is the Truth whether I choose to believe or not. The Truth is Jesus, a sinless man, died on the cross so that I and others may live and be in eternal union with the Father. That will never change. You see if I focus on explaining myself and other Christians actions to a non-believer I tend to loose the focus of sharing God's love. Instead I find myself saying things like, "Well that is them and this is me, I am not that kind of a Christian, I just love God," or worse "those kind of people aren't really Christians."

The number one reason that this is my biggest pet peeve is that often times it divides the Church and confuses non-believers. We are ONE Church, and ONE body. If we all could just get over our differences and work together what kind of impact would we have on our communities, country, and world? Not anyone one denomination or person has the perfect doctrine/theology, and there is no "perfect" church. One day we will all be corrected. Let's focus on something else besides the differences in our doctrinal beliefs. And lastly stop the confusion. The world is already a confusing place, and for those that are lost and searching for answers the last thing the need is more confusion and especially from the church. I challenge you to live out and be the "different Christian" that you wish other Christians/Churches were. I don't see anyone of us standing up and saying "I am the Christian and I belong to the church that all the other Christians are warning you not to be like!"Take a look at yourself, and just be the "different Christian" Don't apologize, re-label, and water down your beliefs. Be salt and light. Be a Christian.

Marriage and Hummers

Levon and I have been married now for three and a half years. We have had our ups and downs as any marriage does. Neither of us have had any example on how a Christ centered marriage works, so we have found out that sometime it is easier said than done...

Recently we were asked to lead a Life Group (small group) in our church a couple months back. We sat and talked with our group about what we would like our discussion times to be about. We decided as a group to talk about marriage. We are going through the book Love and Respect as our spring board but are focusing on the Scripture that the book is based on as well as other Scriptures that are weaved in throughout the book. One thing that I pride our group in is that we ALWAYS go back to what Scripture says because it is Truth. The book itself is not Truth, even though it is based on Scripture...it is after all just some guys opinion. This book has challenged me in many ways and honestly most of the things I read make me want to throw the book across the room, not because he is necessarily incorrect, but because they are things that I need to hear and the Holy Spirit convicts me.

Stubborn and prideful. Two words that describe me fairly well. Both have some positive and negative connotations. When my mind is set on doing or not doing something I am committed and intent on it happening...good or bad. Something my darling husband knows and endures all too well. (PS. I am working on it :) ) I am very consciously aware of what I am doing and why I am doing it. Case in point as follows...

Levon and I had a disagreement, okay maybe a bit of an all out brawl, the other night. And by all out brawl I mean I just snapped out of no-wheres-ville. Oh and I forgot to mention I was the only on going all out; my husband is a much more patient and forgiving person than I. So here I am yelling and nagging about who really knows what, but it was so very important at the time. We stayed up late and ended up figuring out what was making me so upset in the first place.
Basically it boiled down to I wasn't getting my needs met and he wasn't getting his needs met by me (one of the things mentioned in the book, and something both of us counselors "know") . Now this thought crossed my mind much earlier in the conversation, I mean, argument. I was aware of the things that I was saying and the message I was sending. I don't proudly say that I was intent on being mean and making sure he knew just how mad I was. I didn't care about what he needed, just about me.

Like I said earlier, we did end up figuring it all out, it might have been two in the morning, but we figured it out non-the-less. I don't know if any of you (whether your married or not) think to yourself after you have had a conflict with someone, "Did they really hear me, Will things be different, are they going to change?" I do. Come to think of it our thinking should be more like this, "Did I really hear them, will I do things differently, how will I change?"And a lot of the times after I have those "what about them" thoughts I put my guard up again and consciously refuse to give/show/do something until that person proves themselves worthy to me. Which then usually ends up back to the conflict we started with in the first place.

I came home today to find a card from Levon that said how much he appreciated me driving him around the last three months. Today is the first day he has had his car back. He has been out of a car and I have a standard that Levon is still learning how to drive so I take him to and from work everyday and wherever else we needed to go. He would venture out on his own some, but if we were going somewhere together I had to drive. I just couldn't take the stalling, shaking, and the light turning red, green, yellow, and red again when we hit a stop light. Inside the card was an IOU for a Hummer H2. Next to a card was a Matchbox Hummer H2 that Levon said was a down payment for driving him all around. After reading the card and seeing the car my heart softened and I remembered all the reasons why I fell in love with him in the first place. His random acted of kindness changed my attitude completely around and made me recall all the things that really matter in our marriage.

Our pastor a couple of weeks ago asked us, "How do we change the world?" He answered his own question by saying, "One random act of kindness at a time." I think he's right, because one random act of kindness changed mine today.

What does your heart reflection look like?

"As in water face reflects face, so the heart of the man reflects the man."- Proverbs 27:19

As a Christian it should be my goal to reflect the Love of Christ, I say should be because often times for me it's not. I am working on it. We are fools to think that our inward thoughts, feelings,and heart is not reflected outwardly. Some of us are better than others at hiding it, but it still leaks out. I can be anyone of the reflections listed blow on any given day, what about you?



What does your heart reflection look like?

Just hopped out of bed. Maybe you heart is a little tired still, dishevelled, sad, downtrodden, and in desperate need of a shower. When I get up my immediate thoughts are usually something like, "Just five more minutes," which usually turn into thirty or longer. Maybe your heart is like that. It is still holding on to something it needs to let go so you can move on and start living. Is it depressed, lacking energy, and to unbearable to even look at it in the mirror?

Going for a night out on the town. All dressed and gussied up. You did your hair, nails, makeup. Put on your cologne, whitened your teeth, shaved, iron your clothes. You have your bling, shined your shoes, washed the Benz, and have doubled checked that you are wearing deodorant. You have done all this to make sure you look good for whoever may be looking. When you get back from your night out your clothes are wrinkled, your teeth are stained, your makeup came off, your hair is a mess, you broke a nail, and you smell like a cab driver. You're in desperate need of a shower. Oh and I forgot mention that your hair is dyed, your nails are fake, the makeup and cologne you put on were the free samples from the department store, your borrowed you clothes from a friend, and the cars a rental. It's all an illusion, nothings real. Perhaps your reflections like this. You put on what you think others want to see so the are impressed with your thoughts and moral convictions. You want others to view you as Mother Teresa. But in your heart you struggle, and you struggle alone. You're not sure about what you think, feel, or even believe. You can't share it with anybody because you fear what they may think.

Just got out of the shower and had some breakfast. Maybe you a little more like this. Your clean and refreshed. Ready for the day, not for a night out on the town, ready to go to do Gods work and face new challenges. You have fed yourself spiritually by spending time in the word and prayer. This has provided you energy to accomplish your task, at least until lunch with a friend because you recognize the need to nurture your Spirit because without it you might look and feel like you just hopped out of bed due to the pressures of this world. You know the day may not be easy, but your prepared for whatever may come your way. You will stumble, you may fall flat on your face, but you get up and try again because tomorrows a new day.